It’s Okay to Ask for Help — In Fact, You Should
"Because no one moves forward alone."
It’s Okay to Ask for Help — In Fact, You Should
I spoke with a friend not too long ago, and she told me about a problem she’d been wrestling with. She tried everything she could think of, wore herself out in the process, and eventually had to go through the most exhausting route to fix it. The frustrating part? It could have been sorted in minutes if she had simply asked for help.
Another friend of mine, a university student, nearly failed his course. He spent two whole semesters struggling in silence before a classmate offered to step in. That one offer changed everything. He passed comfortably, but it could all have happened much sooner if he had just spoken up.
The truth is, asking for help is rarely as complicated as we make it out to be. Sometimes it’s no more than a short call, a quick message, or a brief walk to someone’s desk. And yet, so many of us carry our burdens alone. Humans are social creatures; the world runs because we help each other keep moving.
Why We Struggle to Ask for Help
Why is it so difficult? For some, it’s pride — the belief that we should be able to handle it all ourselves. For others, it’s the fear of rejection. And then there’s vulnerability: asking for help feels like opening yourself up, admitting you don’t have it all together.
Cultural norms don’t make it easier. Some people won’t ask someone younger for help because they feel it undermines them. Others hesitate if the person is the opposite gender. But really, is it wise to skip the harvest just because you already have a basket of fruit?"
The Benefits of Asking
Have you ever battled with an issue for what feels like forever, and then, out of frustration, you finally call a friend — and they solve it in seconds? That sinking “I should have done this sooner” feeling is all too familiar. Asking for help saves time, spares you that frustration, and, perhaps most importantly, builds trust.
A lot of the relationships I’ve built over the years began with helping someone with a task or having them help me. It creates a bond that’s hard to replicate any other way.
And here’s something people often overlook: the biggest learning isn’t always for the person who asked but for the one who offered help. I’ve lost count of the things I’ve learnt just by assisting others. I once held a free design boot camp while I was in school. One of the students turned out to be a professional and ended up teaching me some brilliant Photoshop tricks I still use today.
How to Ask Without Feeling Weird
Try first — but don’t overdo it
If there’s a topic you didn’t understand in class, try solving it yourself first. Check online, look it up in your notes, or even ask AI. This way, when you do ask a person, you already have some preliminary knowledge. But don’t overcook it — if you’ve been stuck for hours, it’s time to reach out.
Be specific
A lot of people don’t actually know what they want when they ask for help. Before approaching someone, figure out exactly what you need help with and what you’d like done. It’s not fair for someone to spend their time on something that doesn’t actually solve your problem.
How to Make Sure Your Ask is Successful
Once you’ve asked, don’t disappear. People are busy, and even the most willing helpers can forget or shift priorities. A short follow-up message can make all the difference – not nagging, just a gentle reminder.
And when the help is complete, always close the loop. Did someone review your CV or help you practise for an interview? Let them know if you got the job. Did a friend help you study for an exam? Tell them whether you passed or even if you failed — either way, it shows their effort mattered. This feedback not only strengthens your relationship but also makes them more willing to help you (and others) again.
A Few Real-Life Proof Points
Buhari’s long road to the presidency
Muhammadu Buhari ran for president three times without success. It wasn’t until he got the backing of ACN (led by Bola Tinubu) and other political allies that he finally achieved his goal on his 4th attempt. Years of solo effort couldn’t do what the right help did in one election cycle.
Baddy of Lagos and the power of community
Almost everyone on Nigerian Twitter knows Baddy of Lagos — he lived with a knock-knee condition (k-leg) for most of his life. Then people decided to crowdfund ₦20 million for surgery. Years of living with it, and within days of collective help, the solution was in motion.
Raye’s NYSC struggles
Raye had two major issues during her NYSC year. The first came up while she was still serving — she spoke up immediately, got help, and it was resolved quickly. The second issue, however, she kept to herself for too long, and by the time it came out, it had become messy and is now being dragged out. The contrast is clear: early help can save you months of stress.
In all these cases, the lesson is the same: years of trying alone with little success, or problems that drag on unnecessarily, often melt away once the right help is sought — and sought early.
Final Thought
Asking for help won’t make you look small. It will make you look human and wise. This week, I want you to think of one thing you’ve been struggling with and ask someone for help.
You might be surprised, not just at how quickly things get sorted, but at how willing people are to stand beside you. After all, we don’t move forward alone.
And Speaking of Asking for Help
I’m taking my own advice. I’m currently exploring new opportunities and collaborations across writing, design, and event management. I’ve written over 20 newsletters, including during my time as an editor in school, and I’ve even published a magazine. I’m also a graphic designer with 5+ years of multi-disciplinary experience.
As a programme manager and event planner, I’ve managed and delivered over 25 events, from TEDx and career fairs to spelling bees, debate competitions, product meetups, hangouts, picnics, and even a dental hygiene outreach. I’ve also worked at a top marketing firm involved in events such as the Lagos Fanti Festival, the Lagos Sustainability Summit, and many others.
On top of that, I am just 3 courses away (out of 8) from completing the 6-month Google Digital Marketing & E-commerce Professional Certificate.
If this strikes a chord, let’s make something remarkable happen — the kind of work people talk about long after it’s done.
Did you notice what I did with those pictures🙃
Only ex-corps members can relate.
As the popular adage goes, “a closed mouth is a closed destiny.” Your piece perfectly identifies the problems behind why people hesitate to ask for help and also provide solutions.
I truly hope this message reaches everyone who is afraid to seek help.
This is nice.
For me, I don't ask for help immediately because I feel I am bothering the people I ask.